When I first arrived in America from Sierra Leone, I was full of dreams and determination. But life in the Park Hill Projects of Staten Island quickly showed me that success is never a straight path.
Park Hill, known in the community as “Little Africa” — was a place filled with culture, but also challenges. The hallways smelled of urine, gunfire was a normal background noise, and roaches and rats were part of daily life. I went from being voted Most Likely to Succeed in middle and high school to slowly losing myself in toxic relationships, poor decisions, and an environment that threatened to pull me under.
My first two serious relationships were filled with emotional and physical abuse. What I thought was love was really control, jealousy, and violence. Each time I forgave, I lost a little more of myself. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my sense of worth was tied to the wrong things, to people who didn’t deserve my loyalty, and to a false idea that I could “fix” someone by loving them enough.
It took years of pain, mistakes, and self-reflection to learn some of the most important lessons of my life:
Your environment does not define your destiny. You can grow up in the hood and still create a beautiful future.
Love never hits you, and you should never beg for it.
Be a leader, not a follower. Your choices will shape your future more than your circumstances.
Today, I share my story because I want others, especially young women, to know that you can come out of the darkness. You can break cycles of abuse, rise above where you came from, and rewrite your life.
If you’re in a situation that is breaking you down, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, please know this: You have the power to walk away and start again.
I did. And so can you.
